Woo the Foo
By R. D. Flavin


     Global warming, impending economic collapse, natural disease and manipulated pestilence, the Zombie and/or Robot Apocalypse, a killer asteroid, and Ziva leaving NCIS are all psycho-bogeys to deter the fainthearts and squeamish.  Most utilize the “Que Sera, Sera” panacea when threatened doom and gloom gets especially noisome.  Some would gladly immanentize the eschaton and get things over with.  A few would go off-world if it were possible, but such an option is some years hence.  Sure, even Scully became a “Believer” at one point and supported the “Fight the Future” platform, yet specificity is wicked required when predicting how and when the sky is going to fall.  Not all “bad” futures are equally unacceptable (or, for that matter, unavoidable).  Dare the Slippery Slope!  We should woo the foo and address problems sooner rather than later.  History speaks of some really lousy times, often actually, yet with more history there's semi-satisfactory periods that beat the odds.  Let's make the invitation personal and offer smooth jazz and and a snack-tray.  Now, the first thing we need to woo the foo is impatience...  We've waited for the future long enough.

     Sure, The Ugly American advocated taking out Sarkhan, but today the Socialist Republic of Vietnam is the world's largest producer of cashew nuts with a one-third global market share, and I opine it was neato that they discovered 116 critically endangered gray-shanked douc langur monkeys (Pygathix cinereus) in 2007.  That's some deep jungle action there!  And, the whole idea of a functioning and progressive Vietnam still troubles a few different segments of the population.  Maybe we should allow the Republic of Texas to secede...  No, then Cambridge, Mass. would want to go too and we can't lose Harvard and MIT.  Siriusly, Hawaiʻi is probably best deserving of independence (with benefits, of course).  Non-violence and passivism can't stand or sit before radical Islamic fundamentalism.  Containment and isolationism (à la North Korea) won't work against evil whacks bent on world domination.  There's a time to look one's best and then there's getting ugly for the greater good of a lesser bad.

     Most don't immediately equate Assad's Syrian Arab Republic with radical Islamic fundamentalism per se, we pop out categorizations of Neo-Ba'athism and the personality “cult,” Assadism, yet Syria was the first country to be included in the U.S. Department of State's list of State Sponsors of Terrorism in 1979 and remains classified as such (along with Cuba, Iran, and Sudan).  Syria's support of the PLO in its Molotov cocktails-throwing “Anti-Zionism” days, before Yasser Arafat publicly accepted Israel's “right to exist” in 1988 and went covert with his support of the Lebanese militant group, Hamas, and the introduction of suicide-bombings of Israeli civilian targets, represented government-supported mass-murder of school children and cafe patrons which never had a military goal and was just a reflection of extremist hate.  Yeah, I'm really tempted to bypass Godwin's Law with comparisons, but despite the legally ludicrous and unenforceable nature of the “right to exist” concept, the bottom line is like-it-or-not the Jews have Jerusalem and a country and it's theirs to keep or lose and so far legitimate military actions against Israel haven't worked out that well.  I know, “Haters gonna' Hate” and all of that, but the Syrian gangsta' regime is still intent on conducting another Jewish genocide albeit somewhat clandestinely through Hamas and Hezbollah.  And, we all know the next radical Islamic fundamentalist group literally dying to get involved – it's that name that everyone likes to pronounce with a fake South Boston accent.

     So, come on along and let's welcome “international” outrage and backlash at taking down some bad guys.  It's really not about oil, as we can get it elsewhere, nor annexing prime Mediterranean real estate after Reagan wimped on Lebanon in 1984, but it is about getting rid of some bad guys.  Or, what Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and the Senate Foreign Relations Committee recommends: “...to change the momentum on the battlefield in Syria so as to create favorable conditions for a negotiated settlement that ends the conflict and leads to a democratic government in Syria.”  Okay, let me adjust my boxer-briefs...

     We could point to Iraq where car-bombs are a weekly occurrence, yet the semblance of a democratic government survives.  Egypt sorta'-kinda' started the “Arab Spring” and has recently rewrote the textbook on “democracy” with questionable military actions, yet remains relatively stable.  Let's avoid Libya for now, as they're rapidly heading for civil war as the sectarian militias have all but stopped their production of oil, it's only economic resource (besides a little gypsum).  And, getting it out of the way, things in Afghanistan aren't particularly inspiring as far as keeping the Taliban from power...  Hope springs eternal on that paved road of good intentions and the coming change will surely be predicated on Pres. Obama convincing Congress, the American people, and history that he has actionable and reliable intelligence about Syria's bad guys and where they hang out, and he's got a workable exit strategy leading to a variation of a legitimately democratic Syrian government.  Can he avoid the mistakes of the past?  He needs to woo the foo.

     In opening the 'Introduction' to her recent (4-1-2013) doctoral dissertation, "Building A House of Peace: The Origins of the Imperial Presidency and the Framework for Executive Power, 1933-1960," Katherine Elizabeth Ellison quotes Pres. Harry S. Truman's advice, “Carry the battle to them.  Don't let them bring it to you.  Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything.”  Sure, it's political home-spun rhetoric from the only president to drop a nuke, however it's practical as all get-out.  We disavow predestination and deny Fate.  We own the future and are responsible for our own 福, or Fú or foo or fortune.  I sincerely hope Pres. Obama is the inspired leader we need him to be.  He better woo the floors of Congress with logic and leave emotion at the door.

Michelle Nichols (“Lt. Uhura”) and Pres. Obama 4-5-2013.


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