Running from and to America
By R. D. Flavin


     We all know who's in charge of America, though many are too scared or shy to admit it.  That would be The Satan (Heb. הַשָּׂטָן ha-Satan, "the opposer” and “the adversary”).  Also known as Lucifer the Fallen (though some claim he's the older brother) and, somewhat generically, as The Devil.  In Islam, it's Shaitan (شيطان), in English it's Old Nick, and in Icelandic it's Djöfullin and I hear the hot-springs in Reykjavík are to die for, well, in a matter of speaking.  As my first exposure to the Prince of Darkness was as a kid reading Harvey Comics' Hot Stuff the Little Devil, and the image has kind of stuck with me.  Sure, Tim Curry's “Lord of Darkness” character in 1985's Legend dark fantasy flick has the bewitching buff, however my personal approach to Satan is best imaged as a diaper-wearing little demon.  And, sadly, there are those who won't admit the horned-one is openly in charge of most of us in these here United States of America.

"Hot Stuff the Little Devil" and the "Lord of Darkness."

     But, even the biggest “Big Bad” needs some help on occasion.  There's Belial, Beelzebub, Astoroth, Asmodeus, Azazel, Mammon, Lilith, and Apollyn.  Now, of course, Lily was Adam's first wife who was created from muddy earth and wanted to be on-top during intercourse with Adam, so God showed her the back-gate of Eden and Eve was created from a juicy Adamic rib, leaving Lily to do all types of nasty including mating with Cain, becoming the first vampire, and when the Shekinah (God's feminine “in-dwelling” split to wander the earth with her Chosen People after the destruction of the Second Temple), Lilitu currently sleazes as God's consort (and gets some personal demon-time to descend to earth and consume nocturnal emissions). Now, these eight exceptionally dastardly demons are also the overseers of “America's Secret Government,” that is: 1) the Military-Industrial Complex (with its lil' bro', the NRA), 2) Big Pharma (and medical insurance and institutions), 3) Oil, Gas, and Coal, 4) Corporate Farming, 5) Media and Telecommunications, 6) Hard Manufacture, 7) Soft Manufacture, and 8) On-and-Off Wall St. Investors.  My demon hierarchy and assignments are a little out-of-date, but I believe they change endeavors with each other every human generation (around twenty-five years) or so.  It's been said it keeps the miserable even more miserable.

     The dissemination of Hellish will on America is understood to be based on military and financial power with important wicked greasy cogs to keep things turning (admittedly, in the wrong direction).  The true levels of contemptible corruption that has tainted this Union from sea to not-so-shiny sea, and then some, is double-plus-ungood, to say the least.  We suffer our class through joking about the have's and the have-nots because it's a primal disparity – cavefolk likely lusted after a new antler comb as much as today's Hipsters and their iPhones.  Those demons and their Secret American Government toys spend a considerable amount of cash, coin, and corpolites on payroll, marketing, pay-offs and bribes, and stupendously stupid waste.  Some cities are actually importing the homeless and the indigent so the towns won't be able to qualify for state or federal money.  Satan and his gang play the long-con.

     The currency of contempt is based on decadent favoritism which functions as trickle-down corruption as demonstrated at closed-gate ginger orgies, breakfast sandwich buffets manned entirely by The Most Interesting Man in the World, and at White-Collar only biblical amusement parks.  Yeah, the corn-dog vendors get bonuses for lying that the dogs are certified kosher.  It seems to work out – shadoodles of the poor and really poor have just enough to spend and lose as the demonic Secret American Government needs to meet their next project goal.  I've heard from the enemy of an enemy that Hell's working on a new weight room, a Peine forte et dure guaranteed to crush the competition...  It's the cycle of cash – it stops by for a moment, dreams a little dream, and then flies dutifully to the greedy hands that know a zillion better ways than you how to spend your dreams, the dreams of others, and just about every good idea that just didn't work out.

     America is a capitalistic democracy that is proud of its chicken nuggets being American-made of some muscle, fat, blood vessels and nerves, liner-cells of internal organs, and cartilage and really tiny pieces of bone.  When it says American Chicken Nuggets don't dare expect horse hooves or beef tripe.  And get a couple of extra Burger King Sweet and Sour Dipping Sauces!  Now, though the ick factor is high, I wouldn't be opposed to using certain animal parts in human operations.  Nothing too kinky, mind you. I hope science continues to be brave, but I strongly advise against the neo-cannibalism movement which involves producing selected steaks, chops, and fillets from celebrity stem-cells.  Usually, I reduce everything to a condiment, sauce, or gravy, yet I don't think the right hot-sauce has been invented for Cute Soylent Green, no matter how attractive.

     Yeah, things are tough running from America into the Land of Nod.  It's a dangerous wandering and most decide they'd be better back in America.  Which is exactly what the Secret American Government wants you to think!  Yet our American Hell meets resistance from our Illuminated Champions, those who represent truth, justice, and the sexy way.  Sure, things will likely stay like the worst of reality-television for some years to come, but we've got good guys and great girls to remind us that our brains have been stolen while we slept and replaced by product-recognition devices.  Where once existed romantic love now resides ungenerous voyeurism with those before the Value Menu at the left and the Specialty Menu at the right.

Our Illuminated Champions: Judge Judy, Pres. Obama, and Sofia Vergara.

     With the sheer-nude transparency of our Constitution, Bill of Rights, and ankle-length compression hose, wrinkles are representative of amok time displaced by the Federal shutdown.  Sure, Breaking Bad is over, but the second season of Homeland has started.  That's if you can afford cable, of course.  We run to and from America because standing still only works best when they're not shooting at you.

Activating my inviso-shield,


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