By R. D. Flavin
shaving close the truth,
recycling dull blades,
fearing tomorrow's stubble,
well groomed in deception...
directed at other areas of conflict regarding my hair. Such
skirmishes as trimming toe-hairs and having to purchase different
razors or use a better shaving crèam, as the texture of my
hair seems to be slowly changing, have only minor roles in the larger
war. When I was younger, those semi-remembered years long gone,
cultural polarity of short and long hair was easy to understand and
actions were simple, direct, and basic (i.e. long hair=good, short
hair=questions such as “Are you a cop?” and “Do you get
high?”). Now, though length is still sometimes an issue, other
areas are becoming problematic as where there was none before,
there's some now, and where there was some before, it seems to be
thinning and changing colors. I shouldn't make much of these hair
aches, as others have it worse.
Justin Bieber, the latest teen phenomena who earns mega-cash for “singing,” has a near-global following who demonstrate an unnatural interest in the kid's hair. His floppy (and way foppish) version of the classic bowl-cut has inspired fans to go pop-medieval on their manes. While the maxim is maintained that there's no accounting for tastes (< L. Lat. de gustibus non est disputandum), the recent media mentions of Bieber together with DPRK cult-leader, Kim Jong-il, requires distinguishing between indifference and amusement. Nature dictates that not all hairs are created equal, sometimes through evolution, other times because of serious chemical dependency issues, or maybe it's something we've yet to discover. Is the Justin Bieber/Kim Jong-il connection a coincidence or a demonstration of public hair aches?
on his next tour
overseas and North Korea placed first with an extremely large number
of votes. The BBC quoted
a spokesman for the North Korean Embassy in
London as saying Bieber would have to apply for permission like
anyone else. The BBC also ran a recent photograph of Kim Jong-il
with the caption, “It is not known if Kim Jong-il is a fan of
Justin Bieber's music.” I cough obfuscation! The absence of
evidence is not evidence of absence and all of that is coyness on the
part of the BBC; Kim Jong-il likely has a hidden lair stocked with
various lunch-boxes and back-packs with Bieber's picture on them and
combining the Bieber surname and the noun, 'music', betrays difficult
economic times and cultural confusion for those across The Pond.
BBC termed the online poll a “hoax,” and denied any possibility
or need for a visit to North Korea by Bieber. Sure, right, and
course. It took another who is often associated with hair ache
(read: the pulling
thereof), our 39th President of the United States of
America, James Earl Carter, Jr., to step up and over to
convince the DPRK to free a 31 year-old American, Aijalon Mahli Gomes
of Mattapan, MA, who was serving an eight year sentence of hard labor
for trespassing. It appears that Kim Jong-il was not in North Korea
at the time of Carter's humanitarian rescue, but is believed to have
taken a secret trip to China. Gomes has not explained why he illegally
crossed from South into North Korea, nor has he stated his feelings
about Bieber's so-called "music." Some excuses are like
hair-styles, ...they can make your head hurt. Or worse.
Legal Iranian hair-styles, Iranian Pres. Ahmadinejad, and Iranian "Ambassador of Death."
to the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, matters were also getting
slick just past the Persian Gulf, in the anachronistically theofacist
Islamic Republic of Iran. Yeah, the countdown for the bookies on
whether Israel would take out the Bushehr Nuclear Plant before the Russians
loaded it with fuel was almost as exciting as ignoring the
World Cup finals. We idled and Iran instituted new hair regulations
which made the growing of mullets and pony-tails punishable
offenses. Also, they strongly discouraged the wearing of ties
and cheap blazers are still recommended) as being suggestive of the
condoning of Western Satanic traditions. I'm actually okay with
this, as I insist that all the Western Satanists I meet with wear a
tie. Mandatory theofacist haircuts may be interpreted as getting
ready for the Big Event by cleaning up. Puppet president and
of the Too Much Body Hair Club for Men since 1992, Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad, always works his clippers and tries to stay clean, as he's
deranged attention-whore who loves being on camera, is committed
to the Big Event, and probably can't hear what others are saying about
Iraqi Freedom on August 19, 2010
and the withdrawal of the last
combat troops, Iran moves closer to actualizing the Big Event, that
is the acquisition of Iraq without significant loss of life,
infrastructure, or economic resources. An almost bloodless war
compared with an estimated half million casualties during the Iran-Iraq
War of nearly eight years (September 1980-August 1988), as Iran figures
to overthrow the (ex)Ba'athist Barney Fifes left in charge with
Persian persuasion and when the World (i.e. the US and Israel)
protests, they'll offer up their nuclear program as a compensation for
peace. I especially liked the diversion-in-plain-sight of the new
drone aircraft, Karrar (Farsi for the “Striker”), euphemistically
referred to by Ahmadinejad as the “Ambassador of Death.” With an
estimated flight range of 620 miles and capable of firing four cruise
missiles, the unmanned bomber isn't meant for Israel, which is at a
minimum of a 1000 miles away. We could, if we really wanted to,
“What's the production of the Karrar drone bombers for?” I'd
answer the Big Event...
Way long ear hair, example of hypertrichosis, and Venezuelan Pres. Hugo Chávez.
although in rare cases it's also found in
lanuginosa develops in adults). It's believed that the condition
primarily caused by an action of the male Y chromosome (females=XX
and males=XY chromosomes) as per our XY sex-determination system as
first described by Stevens and Wilson (passim Wilson 1905). Sadly
and regardless, excessive ear hair may contribute to hearing
loss. Yet, excuses aside, even such furry attributes may not be
answer, as the Christian New Testament Synoptic Gospel authors
admonished (Mk 4:9, Mt 11:15, Lk 14:35), “He who hath ears, let
him hear.” Okay, so John used the expression as well (Rev
3:22)... And, if they have ears, but don't want to listen? Right; they
Recent claims by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and the Venezuelan media (with alleged Russian confirmation) that the January 12, 2010 earthquake which devastated much of Haiti was actually caused by a US-developed “tectonic weapon” in preparation for a war against Iran is ...well, such a dumb idea that FOX may make a television series featuring weekly catastrophic experiments gone horribly wrong (tentatively titled America's Next Target). Such claims about the US Navy et al's High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) are nothing new, though no less unfounded, as HAARP sends radio waves into the ionosphere (that's above 70km up, btw) and has no ability to affect tectonic plates, move mega-tons of earth, or change a bipolar president's attitude. Unfortunately, America has yet to achieve its jurisprudential potential, as we really aren't innocent until proven guilty, as our laws promise, but rather we're publicity bound to an antiquated system in which the accused must first clear their name. Yup, guilty until proven innocent... Maybe Han did shoot first, I don't know... What I do suspect is that Chavez, despite the supposed electoral support of his people, his twisted and admittedly preferential humanitarianism, and his advantageous dealings with those with money (to wit, selling Venezuelan oil for personal discretionary pocket change when it could be sold to help the Venezuelan people), is ... puny without politics. Chavez won't listen to his critics any more than other politicians, religious leaders, or those with public power will. They don't have to hear, they've got ...power.
Mr. Bigglesworth, featherless rooster, and Lady Gaga.
the animal kingdom,
including Homo sapiens sapiens
and Republicans, hair growth, loss,
abundance, or lack thereof form part of our secondary sexual
characteristics. It's as if Mom Nature didn't entirely trust
and females to recognize and distinguish each other, so some species
have evolved unique secondary sexual characteristics, most notably
and noticeably through hair, feather, scale, or shell patterns.
some point in our late prehistory, certainly by the time of our
earliest written history ca. 3200-2900 BCE, humans began to modify
their appearance by shaving (or scrapping), cutting, and 'styling'
hair. Based on ancient art, it appears humans have been
with hair for many thousands of years. And, per Ecclesiastes,
there's nothing new under the sun (Ecc 1:9) and we still are..
Fashion may be fine, feeble, faux, fascist, or something we can't yet imagine. It's hard or impossible to handle unknowns and it's always difficult to manage pain. Some hair aches more than others, though in fairness, that's what barbers, beauticians, doctors, and critics are for. We should begin to consider a change in our behaviors. I, for one, am going shopping for a new hat...
Waning for Bordeaux,