Flavin's Corner
6-11-99

Women and Bars

     Occasionally men meet women in bars.  Often the ensuing relationship only
lasts a single night, sometimes the frolic is extended for several days and
nights, months, years, or that rare forever.  But, paying attention to the
"stop-sign up ahead," every now and then a man meets a woman at a bar who
belongs BEHIND bars and not frequenting them.  Yup, bad girls and evil
chicks are just as much a part of the "big picture" as middling women and nice
babes.

     Myth, tradition, and ignorance have constructed assorted images of women
which range from air-head help-meets, heartless wenches, to somebody else's
girlfriend, wife, or mother who are invariably rumored to be perfect.  Such
encompassing classifications are sexist and usually wrong.  While it's true that
women assume all colors, shapes, sizes, and moods, the same may be said
about men.  Equality extends beyond the things we personally choose to notice
or comment upon.  The "big" equal means an even "bigger" equal...  Doesn't it?

     Eve and Pandora, as Western examples, lay the blame of many human
problems on women being ...somehow inferior to men.  That nonsense aside,
we've experienced certain dynamic evolutionary traits which have separated the
sexes due to propagation requirements, though the physical differences are still
being defined, better understood, and current theories on hard-wiring and the
chemical make-up of human brains are way sheer speculation (and I'm betting
we're more alike than different).

     Her eyes were like so...  Well, they had a cute color, I mean both matched
(I think), and sometimes they appeared to be staring right through me, though
perhaps they were merely looking at me, but it seemed special.  I established
constant eye-contact, formed a smile, and then after a moment ...waved her in
for a landing.  She took a seat beside me without help (always a good sign) and
I bought her a drink.

     Working from the sometimes accepted chick-think that ALL men are either
gay or scum, I drew her near with a throw-away comment on Serbian
atrocities, a giggle about platform shoes, and a really slick maneuver where I
moved her chair closer because (or so I made her believe) other patrons in the
bar were neo-Nazi Mormons on the prowl to make babes like her their latest
offspring-factory.  Some fems like to be protected.

     Small and smooth talk commence when the fix is in and a dive to the mat is
imminent.  And, it's assumed, whenever two horny mammals sit down over
beverages, the evening may only be lost due to poor and stupid behavior, as
the doors of erotic perception are always open and close solely because of
mistakes.  Success is easy, failure requires work, and many are quite
determined to screw things up ...rather than screw!  So, I make a habit of
internalizing my drool, opinions about fashion, and those suggestive asides
about mandatory nudity in women's sports.  In fact, I play it cool and wait for
the waves of pleasure to lap at my toes like a nasty elf-maiden doing those
special favors for Frodo...  Sometimes I have to wait a long time...

     So much of the relationship-dance is based on a trust in that we presume
potential partners (read: bed-toys) know the rules, will playfully bend most of
them, and will always wash before and after (though during can be a
high-magic unto itself).  We worship the virgin, love the good woman, lust
after the bad woman, and seldom recognize all variable qualities are just a
smile, kind words, a couple of shots of single-malt, and NOT MAKING A
MISTAKE away from occurrence.  We go on because we must...

     "I place my tongue at your disposal," I offered, "for your pleasure and
entertainment..."

     "If you're willing to wait while I do my dishes," she replied, "I'd be happy to
let you put your head in my kitchen-sink!"

     Sometimes we run because it's the smart thing to do...

     We learn from a United States Justice Department study, Profile of Female
Criminals - US DoJ, 91, four significant facts concerning women behind bars:
1) murder is the most prevalent violent offense among female inmates, 2)
violent women are more than twice as likely as violent men to commit the
offense against someone close to them, 3) women in prison for homicide were
almost twice as likely to have killed an intimate than men in prison for
homicide, and 4) the average sentence for violent women is more than 3 years
shorter than the sentence for men convicted of the same category of offense.  I
can't find equality here--America still concerns itself with O.J., but seems to
have forgotten Lorena Bobbit!  Way ouch!  [Click  here  for more on US DoJ,
91.]

     Now, leaving judgmental concerns to others and recognizing that the "beat"
goes on regardless, I must cite Alexander Pope's famous aphorism, "To err is
human, to forgive, divine." [Note:  to which must be added for those who
persist in committing errors, Errare humanum est, sed in errore perseverare
diabolicum.]  While amusements may be had with seeking companionship
over-seas (the classic and still current "mail-order brides"), it would be remiss
of me NOT to include mention of the Women Behind Bars web-site.  For sure,
the quote "Bad girls need loving too!" could use a comma between the
"loving" and the "too," but we're not really concerned with how well these
inmates punctuate their sentences!   Everyone needs a second chance!  ...Some
need a third, a fourth, a fifth...  Well, you get the idea...  [Click  here  for
Women Behind Bars.]

     Equality allows no variance.  We all share the same quarters aboard
Spaceship Earth (though some of us have really cool posters and burn incense),
however all men and women, or all women and men, or simply we ...must
support equality.  Fair and even rewards, as well as fair and even punishments,
regardless of sex or lack thereof, are essential for a healthy, sane, and fun
tomorrow.  Well, those things and being in the right place at the right time.

     And, optimistically, it's always the right time, we choose to make it wrong...

thinking twice about the bar-scene,
Rick

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