Flavin's Corner


The American Cult

So, what's the difference between a religion and a cult? The creep factor, of course. When one examines the history and main tenets of a particular faith and those little hairs on the neck start twitching, a chill tightens the chest, and a stomach-stabbing revulsion sets in, it would be a good guess the "faith" in question is a creepy cult. Last week The Salt Lake Tribune ran a story suggesting an ongoing Brigham Young University global genealogical study may be financially backed by Mormons who hope to somehow prove ancient Hebrews were present in America before Columbus as described in The Book of Mormon. Such is the latest from America's cult: more racist science. The Mormons give me the creeps.

Brigham Young University, owned and operated by the Mormons (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), has an often unmentioned bias: it's a racist science boot camp. Though BYU employs non-Mormons and participates in some non-Mormon endeavors, the school is centered on continuing the ideas put forth in Joseph Smith Jr.'s racist science fiction allegory, The Book of Mormon (Palmyra, New York: Grandin, 1830), and many choose to overlook the fact. Lazy, I suppose… The 1998 censure of BYU by the American Association of University Professors continues, the Mormons still cannot join the World Council of Churches, and that they openly wish to overthrow the government, control the Earth as humans and become gods of their own planets someday, remain goals which disturb many. Silly? Evil? Racist science is protected speech, much like Christian Creationism in private schools, as well as the ever-popular Aryan Brotherhood tattoos found in various state prisons.

The genetic study at BYU is led by Dr. Scott Woodward, a molecular biologist with previous experience extracting DNA from dinosaurs in Utah and teeth from mummies at the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum in San Jose, California, and who now concentrates on genealogy. See, the Mormons have this sympathetic magic thing going and regularly baptize dead people by proxy. They have extensive, way creepy files… Much like Arthur C. Clarke's 1953 short story, "The Nine Billion Names of God," with reality winking out after the last name, they believe amassing names of dead relatives of current Mormons and baptizing them into the cult to be their duty. Certain living relatives disagree strongly with this practice, such as the successful legal actions brought by family members of Holocaust victims who didn't appreciate their dead Jewish relatives becoming Mormons. Will Woodward's work be used to baptize unknowing (and unliving) populations? Probably…

Begun on March 6, 2000 with testing in Utah, the study hopes to have 10,000 DNA samples from around the US by December 31st (click here for the current count), and 100,000 global samples from 400 different populations in six years. Claiming the results will never fall into the hands of any government or corporation, a BYU web-page boasts: "The information and genetic data that is compiled for this study is intended for genealogical purposes." The Mormons wish to posthumously baptize millions and also seek proof of Jewish genes in Native Americans, as well as Polynesian and other Pacific peoples. We're all related, after a fashion, and I suppose this type of work is inevitable. Still, at least to me, it seems like a hate-crime and a violation of human rights. Hey, Mormons! Leave the Jews alone! [Note: The melody to Pink Floyd's "Another Brick In The Wall" is coincidental.]

At issue, besides other equally fantastic positions, is the racism of The Book of Mormon and its description of Jews sailing to the New World c. 600 BCE. 2 Nephi 5:21 states that some were cursed 30 years later with a "skin of blackness" because of a vague iniquity. And then according to Mormon 5:15, after Jesus did his encore tour in the New World, the "Lamanites" were turned into "a dark, a filthy, and a loathsome people" for not believing in the Resurrected Jesus. It's unclear if some were burned/cursed twice. So, bad Jews became Native Americans… Science flushes this type of crap regularly. However, the apologists are a determined bunch.

Regarding the chances of the study finding DNA evidence to connect Jews with Native Americans, John L. Sorenson, emeritus professor of anthropology at BYU, weasels in The Salt Lake Tribune story with: "If you do, that says something. If you don't, that says more research needs to be done." Sorenson is the author of An Ancient American Setting For The Book of Mormon (Utah: Deseret Book Co./FARMS, 1985), a work that seeks to shift the location of the battle narratives of The Book of Mormon from upstate New York to Mesoamerica. Other Mormon positions regarding their racist science fiction is changing and they now hold that only a small minority of Native peoples were "Lamanite" and may never be successfully detected by random DNA testing. So, the average Native American today is probably not Jewish, but those Pacific Islanders (where Mormonism is spreading like the plague) are still good candidates for being Jewish! Evidence? Believers, idiots, and racists don't need any stinkin' evidence!

Harold Bloom argued that Mormonism is destined to take over in his The American Religion (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1992). Bloom, though recognizing Smith as a scoundrel, nonetheless is in awe of the autodidactic treasure digger and declares him a "religious genius." The racism, polygamy, blood atonement, "King of America" coronation, and the rest, pale alongside of Smith, the American, according to Bloom. I cannot condone the cons of Smith any more than I could reasonably applaud the economic recovery in Hitler's Germany. And those who follow? They have protected speech and little else…

I hope Bloom was wrong in his prediction of a Mormon takeover of America by 2020, due to high conversion rates and political and economic growth. Living with a Republican cult in charge is one thing, but the American cult? The Mormons? Those Osmond smiles always gave me the creeps…

Getting out the holy shorts,


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