Flavin's Corner


Voting Your Unconscious

In four days America will elect its next president. Barring supernatural intervention in the hopeless campaigns of Nader, Buchanan, and Browne, our next president will likely be either Al Gore or George W. Bush. While the admonitive catch phrase, "Vote your conscious," has been uttered by cafeteria liberals who pick and choose their agendas like fad diets, I'd like to recommend we vote our 'unconscious' and be conservatively reckless. Let's take a chance and be initiated into the mysteries of the Electoral College. Manifest destiny be damned; let's rock the vote!

We often restrain ourselves. Manners, honor, political correctness, and laziness figure predominately in our (lack of) actions. Grandma breaks wind at the dining table and we beat the dog instead of the old lady. "Sˇzein tÓ phain˛mena," as a Platonic bumpersticker, encourages we "save appearances," though it also refers to preserving the "phenomena" or moment. The possibility Bush may garner a majority of the popular vote, while Gore wins the important states enabling a victory with electoral votes is real and at hand. We should treasure this. Only in America…

The three surviving Beatles refused an offer of $175 million to reunite for a brief concert tour, Paula Jones grabbed at least $500,000 to display her Christian charms in this month's Penthouse, and the American public could probably raise a substantial amount to get Tipper Gore and Laura Bush to square off in a wrestling ring. Smack down politics! Why not?

[The following is from "Burning Bushs," my column for 6-25-99.]

"As America decides between Bush and Gore, both Wesleyan Methodists, matters become complicated when we consider rumors that Bush's father assisted Pepsi-Cola in the assassination of JFK, and that Gore's father was a secret Communist of Jewish extraction. Yes, our nation has embraced Hannibal and is now eating itself! America, …'tis a pity she's a cannibal!

While Coca-Cola was flavored with cocaine, Pepsi-Cola is allegedly named after pepsin, a stimulant and digestive enzyme extracted from the linings of pig bellies. Mmm… [Note: this is why I drink R.C. Well, that and I'm Roman Catholic…] Pepsi's financial failure under inventor Caleb Bradham led to its 1931 purchase by Charles G. Guth, an investor who is said to have been a "silent partner" in a business cartel, fronted by Preston Bush, which recruited Nixon in 1941. Nixon's career as a corporate lawyer for Pepsi involved communism, drugs, and a presence in Dallas (at a bottler's convention) the day Kennedy was slain. The reason? It appears George Bush was a CIA agent working on the Bay of Pigs invasion (naming three of the disguised warships Barbara, Houston, and Zapata, after his wife, hometown, and the name of his company), planned because of Castro's increase in the cost of sugar-cane to Pepsi-Cola. After JFK withdrew air-support for the planned attack on Cuba, Jack's death was ordered. Oh, and it seems Bush was in Dallas that day as well… The later Pepsi connection with drugs is best described in the Mel Gibson film, Air America, and that Pepsi was first into Russia, stood alone against the American boycott of Stoli vodka (which Pepsi imports), and that Pizza Hut restaurants in Moscow and Leningrad (which Pepsi owns) were instrumental in the downfall of the communist regime, is all a matter of public record. Some take their soft-drinks way too seriously…

Recently, some have attacked Al about his father's possible Jewish ethnicity, and have accused him of being a lobby-front for closet-commi-industrialist Armand Hammer (allegedly nee "Heimer"). Stretching some more, it's said this secret background of Zionist Communism is behind the marriage of Karenna, Al Jr.'s daughter, to Andrew Shiff, who's said to be related to a financier of Trotsky and Lenin. Most give ripe-static to Tipper for demanding warnings on rap-lyrics, tease Al about his work for the environment, and lately, some bad sound-bites about his taking "credit" for the Internet. So, is the leading Democratic contender for the presidency a communist and a Jew?

America has gotten so hungry…"

Positively ravenous! Drive-through or drive-by? And, of course, enough beer to wash everything down and make one over the legal blood-alcohol limit to drive in Kennebunkport, Maine. The DUI conviction will probably further endear Bush to the NRA, as beer and guns are a way of life to many. Bush's alleged cocaine bust in Dallas is regarded as evidence he'll be sympathetic to the pharmaceutical industry, while remaining tough on crime. See, it's addictive behavior to want it all and not share…

Media coverage of this Tuesday's vote will undoubtedly cut into the audiences of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and Dark Angel, but techno-geeks will be able to invoke the VCR and work the ritual of recording one while watching another. Those unable to manipulate a VCR are probably Republicans who don't watch Buffy, so this may not effect them. Republicans will be busy drinking beer, snorting coke, polishing their bullets, and watching their candidate, Gov. George W. Bush, cry in front of television cameras as he loses to Al Gore. Democrats, conversely, will be quietly thanking their lucky stars, as America's future continues to shine.

As America chooses Al Gore to lead them these next four years it will important to remember the 'war' is far from over. Most House Republicans will return to further embarrass us and Trent Lott, Senate Majority Leader and member of a white-supremacist group, will still be around to bemuse and annoy.

Voting our unconscious this Tuesday, reaching deep within and dispelling the darkness generated by the demon Republicans with the cleansing, white light of the Democratic principles of fairness and hope, we move into the new millennium strong, secure, …and laughing our collected butts off! The Enemy couldn't get Slick Willy and Al, our pal, appears to have borrowed a few nice steps… The future looks bright!

Putting on shades,


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